A big one to shake off for me is: I should ALWAYS be calm and centered in EVERY situation because I practice yoga for almost 2 hours every day. My family calls me on this one too, which I hate. And of course, I shouldn't hate this because again, I practice yoga and I should be perfect and not merely human. My second biggest should is that drink thing you mention. My oat cappuccino should always be just the right temperature with just the right amount of foam. But really the should we should all focus on eliminating is residing in this place of privilege. The Universe does not owe us anything except the opportunity to grow. 🙃 Your run sounds amazing. ❤️
Thank you Danni for being here and for your vulnerable comments. I think everyone relates to shoulds in their lives. Residing in a place of privilege is something I come back to time after time. My go to as far as countering the conviction I feel for my own shoulds, is having the privilege of being grateful. I know comparison is not a good place to land, but it does help to bring perspective to the situation. It’s funny but the coffee places I live near now do not serve cortados, so I’m “forced” to drink an oat cappuccino…which I am very thankful for.
Yes, reminding myself of the privilege I hold always brings me back to compassion, empathy, and gratitude. It cuts off the shoulds, victimhood, and basic everyday bitching in their tracks. Have a wonderful day, xo
So good, Steve. I wish I could come to Glendale; we would go to the coffee shop and drink our coffee however the tired and distracted barista—with life circumstances of their own that aren't working out they way they should—served it to us! 😊
By the way, my mother's biological father, stepmother, and all her half-siblings lived/live in Glendale. I visited once, many years ago, the only time I've met the man.
Don this would be so great. We have plenty of room for both you and your lovely wife to visit and did I mention a pool and hot tub. Sounds like you are due for a west coast visit. To me, baristas are remarkable people, most likely under paid, highly skilled and so, so underappreciated and overly criticized, yet, despite the negativity surrounding them, they can be so empathic and life giving to talk to.
I will definitely keep that in mind, Steve. My wife and I have friends and family, both old and new, from San Diego to Washington, and have talked about a West Coast road trip.
Beautiful. My wife is originally from Massachusetts/Connecticut and she keeps telling me how much she wants to take me with her to Cape Cod. Ha, ha, let’s see who makes that cross country trip first. 😉
You've got me thinking--of all the things we expect should go the way the always go: the water, the ice, the electricity, the paved roads, people acting in brave and courageous and even just kind ways. I too have been struggling with this, "I try not to dwell in the land of despair or rile myself up into a state of hate." It's really hard right now. I feel so helpless and my husband does too. And the only should I can really get behind is taking care of my immediate needs, mental, physical, emotional, and trying to help one other person each day, that's my current recipe for sanity. I love this meditation you wrote, it's going to stick with me. Thanks, friend. 🙏
Interesting you bring up people and emotions. Things being inanimate have a certainty about them, but people, we’re capable of anything and that’s where the problem of should comes in. It’s a meditation I think of a lot and really gives me an opportunity to delve deeper into the shoulds and the why behind the shoulds. So glad you resonate with this, friend. I’m right there with you about self care and helping others. Honestly I agree with you, love is key to our sanity ❤️
Expectations of permanence in an imperfect impermanent world can let us down.
Once after weeks trekking and providing medical care in Nepal and showering, twice during that whole time, I arrived home in winter to a broken hot water heater.
I had to laugh at the irony that the thing I most craved was not possible for several days.
Ever since, something as simple as a hot shower has become something magical. Every time.
So glad you’re here Nina and so glad this is relatable to you. We do get accustomed to so much but when it’s gone is the only time we deeply appreciate it. I’m sure the next hot shower you took was a more grateful experience for you.
Everyone “should” read this!
A big one to shake off for me is: I should ALWAYS be calm and centered in EVERY situation because I practice yoga for almost 2 hours every day. My family calls me on this one too, which I hate. And of course, I shouldn't hate this because again, I practice yoga and I should be perfect and not merely human. My second biggest should is that drink thing you mention. My oat cappuccino should always be just the right temperature with just the right amount of foam. But really the should we should all focus on eliminating is residing in this place of privilege. The Universe does not owe us anything except the opportunity to grow. 🙃 Your run sounds amazing. ❤️
Thank you Danni for being here and for your vulnerable comments. I think everyone relates to shoulds in their lives. Residing in a place of privilege is something I come back to time after time. My go to as far as countering the conviction I feel for my own shoulds, is having the privilege of being grateful. I know comparison is not a good place to land, but it does help to bring perspective to the situation. It’s funny but the coffee places I live near now do not serve cortados, so I’m “forced” to drink an oat cappuccino…which I am very thankful for.
Yes, reminding myself of the privilege I hold always brings me back to compassion, empathy, and gratitude. It cuts off the shoulds, victimhood, and basic everyday bitching in their tracks. Have a wonderful day, xo
The Should Monster is a strong force!
It’s almost like you can’t get away from it.
So good, Steve. I wish I could come to Glendale; we would go to the coffee shop and drink our coffee however the tired and distracted barista—with life circumstances of their own that aren't working out they way they should—served it to us! 😊
By the way, my mother's biological father, stepmother, and all her half-siblings lived/live in Glendale. I visited once, many years ago, the only time I've met the man.
Don this would be so great. We have plenty of room for both you and your lovely wife to visit and did I mention a pool and hot tub. Sounds like you are due for a west coast visit. To me, baristas are remarkable people, most likely under paid, highly skilled and so, so underappreciated and overly criticized, yet, despite the negativity surrounding them, they can be so empathic and life giving to talk to.
I will definitely keep that in mind, Steve. My wife and I have friends and family, both old and new, from San Diego to Washington, and have talked about a West Coast road trip.
Beautiful. My wife is originally from Massachusetts/Connecticut and she keeps telling me how much she wants to take me with her to Cape Cod. Ha, ha, let’s see who makes that cross country trip first. 😉
Ok! 😄
You've got me thinking--of all the things we expect should go the way the always go: the water, the ice, the electricity, the paved roads, people acting in brave and courageous and even just kind ways. I too have been struggling with this, "I try not to dwell in the land of despair or rile myself up into a state of hate." It's really hard right now. I feel so helpless and my husband does too. And the only should I can really get behind is taking care of my immediate needs, mental, physical, emotional, and trying to help one other person each day, that's my current recipe for sanity. I love this meditation you wrote, it's going to stick with me. Thanks, friend. 🙏
Interesting you bring up people and emotions. Things being inanimate have a certainty about them, but people, we’re capable of anything and that’s where the problem of should comes in. It’s a meditation I think of a lot and really gives me an opportunity to delve deeper into the shoulds and the why behind the shoulds. So glad you resonate with this, friend. I’m right there with you about self care and helping others. Honestly I agree with you, love is key to our sanity ❤️
Expectations of permanence in an imperfect impermanent world can let us down.
Once after weeks trekking and providing medical care in Nepal and showering, twice during that whole time, I arrived home in winter to a broken hot water heater.
I had to laugh at the irony that the thing I most craved was not possible for several days.
Ever since, something as simple as a hot shower has become something magical. Every time.
There is no taking for granted.
So glad you’re here Nina and so glad this is relatable to you. We do get accustomed to so much but when it’s gone is the only time we deeply appreciate it. I’m sure the next hot shower you took was a more grateful experience for you.
I love this post! Thank you. Gorgeous pictures too.
Thank you so much for being here, Lyns and your kind words. iPhone pictures while running aren't my best but they work😉
Shoulding on ourselves is one way to ruin our life. Thanks for writing about this.
I should give credit where credit is due. Someone I love dearly taught be the difference between “shoulding” and “wishing.” ❤️